Tomorrow We Eat SanGwiches

There are  few questions you can ask someboby that would tell you more about them than: You're on death row and you have your last meal, what is it?  I usually ask this question on a first or second date type situation (which I have been on a few lately) or amongst a group of people having a normal conversation.  Answers have ranged from my mother's homemade latkes (potato pancakes for us gentiles out there) to Pizza.  As stated here before I love food, I have an special fondness in my heart for pizza and I never knew why until my mother told me that she ate pizza every day she was pregnant with me. Which kind of makes the stretch marks she blames me for kinda her fault doesn't it?

The answer you give tells you alot about yourself, if it is Mom's cooking, you are probably from a close knit family and family is important to you, good trait to have.  If you are me and my last meal changes basically from week to week.  This week its L&B's pizza in Brooklyn, Shit if I died and that was my last meal I would be a happy man.  What can I say pizza is good.

I love my mother's cooking, don't get me wrong, but have a pie at L&B and get back to me.  If anyone else has a pie that is as good or better let me know.  Please refrain from the normal answers of Difara or Tontonnos in NYC.

Posted by nelson57 at 12:12 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

When I started Asshole of the week on my little space of the interweb, I thought I was being original and thought provoking.  Little did I know that if you googled "asshole of the week" you come up with 2,210,000 hits on said title in the blogsphere, so in the best interests of you my sexy readers, I have decided to take it out to the back of house and put it out of its misery.

In its place I want to try Artist of the week.  Its sounds a little more positive and it could still be thought provoking.  I love music, those of you who know me personally are aware that I am rarely without headphones or some sort of music.  It keeps the voices out of my head so that I can get on with my day.

My first recommendation is to find the new Kaskade album that dropped today.  Especially the Nelly Furtado remix of "All good things come to an end".  Kaskade is a dance dj/producer. And for anyone who heard the original Nelly Furtado song on the radio well, Its sucks.  This song is way better and the Kaskade album is very good.  Worth a pickup at your local record store.  I would never ever recommend you going to the internet and getting the album illegally.  Now that that is out of the way.  Get it and tell me what you think.

Posted by nelson57 at 01:11 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I spent yesterday afternoon in the Monmouth County Correctional Institution, MCCI for those in the struggle.  I was there to visit a friend who was stupid enough to drive with a suspended license. For my sexy readers out there trying to figure out who it is, I will give you one clue.  It is not Tom.

Now that we got that out of the way, I am hear to tell you that Jail sucks. It sucks to go to Jail, it sucks to visit jail, it even sucks to drive by jail.  My friend is locked up for ten days and I saw him on day 8 of ten and he looked horrible, he hasn't eaten a full meal in ten days cause the food is terrible.  He told me he had a plum that day and it was the first time he had eaten.  He has lost about 10 pounds.  He only showered that morning, which must have been a shitload of fun for his bunkmate who was in jail for assault of a police officer, nice. 

So I get there at 1:30 in the afternoon for visiting hours which start at 1:45,  I really don't have anything to talk to him about so I start to think of jokes hopefully to brighten his mood. I realize that prison jokes are not funny to people who are actually in prison after I ask him if he's someone's "bitch" or has he fashioned his own shiv yet.  I wish I had my cell phone camera to capture the look on his face, but unfortunately for some reason you are not allowed to bring them into the prison. I am definitely a fish out of water here and I rely on the more seasoned veterans of the prison visitation comittee to guide me through and give me advice. 

Here's what I found out: 2 girls were turned away because they both were there to see a prisoner, both claiming to be his girlfriend, he refused to see them both.  That spilled out to a catfight in the parking lot because they obviously didn't know about each other.  I saw alot of women there: some were pregnant, (great choice of baby daddy), some had kids. Some were mothers visting their sons, They were black and white.  They were enthusiastic to see there loved ones, waving and jumping up and down as soon as they saw them walking into the visting area.  It pained them to be separated by the glass and as soon as they walked out, sadness returned.

Now you might be wondering how I noticed all this if I was there visiting my friend, who again I repeat is not Tom. Well I really wasn't listening to what he had to say cause I couldn't hear him through the hole in glass, so I just nodded and said uh huh alot.  Besides he'll be out tomorrow, schmuck should have never been in there in the first place.

Posted by nelson57 at 11:26 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Newspaper kiosks are an important part of any Manhattan neighborhood.  At anytime of the day, you can pick up a newspaper, candy, porn, gum, smokes and porn.  My kiosk happens to be right in front of the train station that I take to work everyday, so it is convenient for me to purchase my morning paper.  The problem is that it is a 50-50 chance at best whether the kiosk guy has the New York Post or not.  On day's he doesn't have it, I ask him why and he just shrugs his head and says I don't know, I guess they didn't deliver it. Meanwhile the convenience store across the street has the New York Post everyday.  Problem is, it is ACROSS THE STREET!  As I have said before convenience is one of the main reasons I live in New York City. 

My kiosk is so ghetto that the porn magazines are so old, they still have naked pictures of girls with winterbush.  My kiosk is so ghetto, their gum selection is 5 cent bazookas and freshen up gum.

He still has 25 cent juice drinks for christsakes!  And we all know that "juice" was the last thing you would call them.  It was water with some kind of cancer causing food coloring and a shit load of sugar. 

The last straw with my kiosk guy was when Wednesday's New York Times did not have a dining out section in his delivery of the paper.  Wednesday food section of the times is required reading for me.  How can you have an incomplete paper? Don't you check these things out before you accept delivery. Now I know I should check that stuff out before I buy the paper but come on.  It should just be there.  Kiosk guy: you are on my shitlist. 

Posted by nelson57 at 11:22 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by nelson57 at 11:45 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I'm a first generation American and my parents immigrated (emigrated?) from Portugal in 1967.  The reason they immigrated (again if its emigrated I apologize to all the english majors out there, on second thought fuck it, its immigrated)  was to escape the political and economic clutches of António de Oliveira Salazar, who was the prime minister and de facto dictator of Portugal from 1932 to 1968.  That is quite impressive for a dictatorial regime to last if you ask me.  In fact it's the longest regime ever in Europe and given Europe's long and distinguished history you almost gotta give the man a standing O for his steadfastness. 

Now my love for dictators has been mentioned on this blog before. Venezuelan President/Dictator Hugo Chavez is a frequent target of mine and he is cut from the same cloth as Salazar, believing in Nationalism and Aurtarky, which basically means I am smarter than you so I make the rules, now shut up.  He basically ruled his government through fear, employing tactics such as secret police and media control to rule over his people. 

Now a couple of weeks ago, the Portuguese people through a televised national call in vote (kinda of like American Idol, only stupider) voted for the greatest Portuguese person of all time and guess what? Salazar won, by a landslide.  He beat out four other nominees and garnered 41% of the vote in the process. The other four people were Satan, he was born in Portugal in late ninth century. Hitler, little known fact that he was the son of a Portuguese fisherman conceived during a cod fishing expedition to Germany. The Son of Sam killer David Berkowitz (yes there are Jews in Portugal) and Mother Teresa.

When people were asked why they voted for Salazar, they said that he was charismatic and he led Portugal the right way.  People went so far as to say that it should be led that way again.  I  guess the populace have become so unenamored with the political process, that they just want to go back to the days where the ruling class just told people what to do and you did it, no questions no problems.  Have governments become so corrupt that we do not trust the people in charge and we would rather have someone in the seat of power who will rule absolute and with complete authority, rather than an elected official who will do right by his constituents. 

We have become sheep, who just lay around in a circle waiting for someone to come cracking the whip and tell us where to move and graze.  We are too caught up in our everyday lives to question what is going on and why. As you can see, it is not just happening in our own country either.

BTW over 40% of Russian utes (youths) wish Stalin was leading Russia right now as well.  A man responsible for the genocide of over 1 million of his people doesn't seem all that bad right now. 

Time really heals all wounds doesn't it? 

Posted by nelson57 at 10:04 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)