So I went to court...
Went to Staten Island, a place bereft of any character whatsoever, you could stick Staten Island anywhere in the country and it would look like any other place in suburbia. Except that there would be a shitload more Italians. Went to plea my case, I almost decided to use the "Eddie Murphy" defense, which is where I say that it wasn't me and the cop would say "But I looked right in your face!" and I would say, "HEY! it wasn't me" and then the cop would say maybe it wasn't you and the case would be dismissed.
I was also prepared to use the Jedi mind trick defense, wave my hand in front of me and say to the Judge that I am innocent and that these aren't the droids you're looking for. He would agree with me and let me go without incident.
Wouldn't you know it, my case was delayed till October 2 cause the cop wasn't available. Thanks for nothing. I guess I have more time to work on more defense strategies then. As always, my sexy readers, your suggestions/comments are welcome.
