Tomorrow We Eat SanGwiches

Saw "Blades of Glory" at an early screening last night.  Excellent waste of ninety minutes and well worth spending $9.00 of your hard earned cash.  Jon Heder was funny, Will Ferrall very funny, You'll genuinely laugh which is something that can't be said about alot of comedies these days. Movie review over, now onto more serious matters.

Why don't food manufacturers put crack in our food anymore.  Work with me on this, back when I was a kid there were some food and drink that I thought were so good that I couldn't go a day without having them.  For example the old cool ranch doritos not cooler ranch doritos which came out like a year later and didn't taste nearly as good.  These chips were freaking good and everyone I knew liked them as well.  But Frito Lay went and added on "More Ranch Flavor!" making them cooler ranch.  These sucked so much so that I stopped buying that flavor altogether.

Now I have a theory on this, when a new product comes out major food manufacturers add an addictive additive to it in trace amounts so it is not found by the FDA, a la crack to it so that you start to crave it after you have had it a few times.  Not that I have tried crack, but I heard that is what happens.  They get you hooked on it and then change it before anyone finds out, calling their product "new and improved" what they really mean is "Now Crack Free!"  Oh Frito Lay you can't trick me that easily, Ahhh that little farce you try to play with our tastebuds...do think that could fool a Corleone.

If you don't believe me, just look at what Fourbucks..I mean Starbucks does, they have more caffeine in their coffee than there competitors.  So when you have their coffee vs. regular coffee you don't get that same buzz.  Hence to get that caffeine high you have to go to Starbucks.  I know if I have a venti (thats ridiculously large in layman's terms) coffee, I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest.  I mean their coffee does even taste that good, but dammit if I don't get a headache if I don't have my cup in the morning.

Hello my name is Nelson and I'm an addict.

Posted by nelson57 at 09:49 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Late yesterday afternoon, I get a unexpected phone call from my friend Marisa, who happens to write for the Daily News inviting me to the world premeire of "The Sopranos" at Radio City Music Hall.

Needless to say I dropped everything and met her there, The crowd wasn't your normal New York crowd, the was definitely an intersprinkling of people who treat going to "The City" like it is some kind of big event worthy of a trip to the hairdressers, the tanning salon, Lord and Taylor's just to try stand out.

After everyone from the show was done patting themselves on the back, we finally got to see the first two episodes.  They were very good, no new plot twists, just a continuation from last season and I hope the writer's are trying to tie the series up with a nice pretty bow for everyone.

The afterparty was where the fun began, it was celebrity sightings galore. Outside of the whole cast and I will get to them in a minute, I saw Hilary Swank, who was holding hands with some weasely looking guy, great body seemed very nice spoke to few people and left.  There was another Oscar winner in the crowd Chris Cooper, kept to himself made a couple of trips to the food stations. James Lipton, "Mr Actor's Studio" was there, waaay shorter than I thought, I asked him what his favorite curse word was, he told me "Fuck Off". I'm still trying to figure out if he was answering my question or not. Giada DeLaurentis was there. She has a big head.  Not ego-wise I mean literally she has a big head, it looks like an olive on a toothpick.

Let's get to the cast, evryone who was ever on the show was there, David Chase said that there had been over 1200 actors on the show since its inception and they were all there to get there last shot at recognition.  James Gandolfini, who I heard normally doesn't attend these things cause he doesn't have to, hell HE is Tony Soprano.  Made a brief appearance walking through the crowd.  Jamie Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler (Meadow and A.J.) were there. A.J. looks exactly like he does on the show.  He is trying to channel the inner hispanic in him by having a beard that is trimmed just to the jawline.  Robert, your a white boy from the upper east side, remember that.

Adrianna was there, she was prettier than I thought, she was sitting at a table with Aida Turturro and her brother John, who looked just like Joey Knisch.  I kept expecting him to come up to me and give me the keys to the bagel truck. 

The only cast member I went up to was Jackie Aprile Jr., Jason Cerbone I got his autograph for my sister. 

Overall it was a good party,  I realized that most television actors have big heads and little bodies (that has to be a prerequisite for being on TV.) and that I will miss The Sopranos when it finally ends it run.

Posted by nelson57 at 08:58 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I have come here to bury hip hop/rap.  What started out as a counter cultural has become culture.  What started out as people gathering at a house party listening to a DJ spin records has become Three Six Mafia winning an Oscar for best song.  BTW that song sucks, it says nothing and it is basically a bass beat thrown through a bunch of synthesizers to funk it up.

I compare Hip-Hop to Rock and Roll in how they evolved and how they effected a generation of people. That is where the similarities end.  Some people say that Rock and Roll died when Zeppelin broke up.  Zeppelin was the second generation of Rock and Roll, they carried the torch from The Beatles, The Stones etc... They were what Rock and Roll had evolved to, from its humble beginnings when Marty Mcfly played "Johnnie B. Good" during the "Enchantment Under the Sea" dance in "Back to the Future".  Rappers like The Notorious B.I.G. and A Tribe Called Quest were the second generation of Hip Hop, carrying the torch from Afrika Bambaattaa and Run DMC.  Biggie and ATCQ were what hip hop evolved to from its Bronx block party humble beginnings.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has decided to let in a Hip Hop group into their hallowed inner circle.  Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five were inducted into the R&R HoF on Monday.  Personally I am offended at this, Rap is not Rock! It never will be! Despite all the mash ups and Run DMC redoing Aerosmith's "Walk This Way",  that is just people running out of beats or fresh new sounds.   Some people, including me thought Rap died with Biggie, I was wrong.  Rap died Monday March 12, 2007, when one of the rap groups that started it all decided to accept a bullshit honor from a group of people who if you asked them candidly would tell you that they can't stand Rap.  Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, stay the fuck out of Rap.

Posted by nelson57 at 10:17 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Earlier this week, three upstate new york high school students were suspended from school for a day for reading an excerpt from "The Vagina Monolgues" at their school's open mike night.  Now before everyone gets on their soapbox and defends these girls right to free speech, understand why they were suspended.  They had to clear whatever they were reading with the school's principle and he did with the caveat that they weren't going to use the word Vagina. Well, they used the word Vagina (and yes I will capitalize the V in Vagina for the rest of this post, because I believe Vagina to be  very important) and they are now paying the price for it.

Now I have seen the play about "The Vagina Monolgues"  believe me Vagina is mentioned alot so you really can't get around using it if you are going to talk about it. I was hoping that the principle could have come up with alternate words for the girls. Instead of Vagina say, "Ladybits" or "twat" or my ATF "pussy!" Would that have been better? 

But I am not here to defend these girls, they have every right to be suspended by the school on grounds of insubordination.  In fact checking on the link above will take you to video of these girls getting interviewed, and they are sooooo proud of themselves, you would think that they invented the word Vagina.  Girls...please don't allow the press to blow smoke up your Vaginas and try to make you the poster girls for first amedments rights.  Worse things are done in school everyday.

Update: It seems that their suspensions have been postponed and the author of "The Vagina Monolgues"  is coming to the school to speak to all the kids.  Great, what is she going to tell the kids, "Vagina...for lack of a better word...is good". I think most of them know that already.

Posted by nelson57 at 07:22 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

As good Christian boys and girls we are taught that we cannot eat meat on fridays during Lent. When we ask why?, the simple answer is because that is the way it has always been...yep the second most popular answer to why?  The first being, "Because I said so!!!!".  I can't wait to use that answer on my kids (if I ever have any) just to see the dumbfounded expression on their face. 

Is meat that bad... I mean does eating meat or fasting on Fridays bring us that much closer to God?  I know that if I even accidently eat meat on a Fridays during Lent I feel guilty for the rest of the day,  BTW Jewish guilt has nothing on Roman Catholic guilt, I can still hear my sixth grade teacher Sister Julia Marie Presley (name changed just in case she ever reads this) telling me that when you masturbate all your dead ancestors are watching you, which is why I do it under the covers with the lights off.

Dietary restrictions in all religions serve one purpose and one purpose only; to keep us healthy so that we can keep giving money to the churches, synagogues, mosques, temples, whatever and keep them healthy, financially anyway.

Back in the middle ages (before television) poeple ate meat because it was cheap and available, refrigeration was even a thought in George Washington Carver's brain yet.  The population ate meat that was unrefrigerated, air dryed or salt cured.  I would also think that sanitary conditions weren't the best either.  Guess what, people ate meat, got sick and died. Political rulers at the time saw this happening and saw their population numbers dwindling, meaning the tax coffers were dwindling as well, knowing full well that politicians can't decide what people should or should not eat, decided to go to religious leaders, pleading them to come up with a reason for people to stop eating so much meat in their diets. So the church came up with the no meat on Friday rule, why? because Jesus died on a Friday.  Hell sounds like a good enough reason for me to push away from my cheeseburger.

Posted by nelson57 at 12:39 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)